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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 11, Episode 2
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the second episode of the eleventh series. Key HD - Hugh Dennis CA - Chris Addison MJ - Milton Jones AP - Andy Parsons JC - Jo Caulfield CD - Carl Donnelly Topics Unlikely Things to Hear at Euro 2012 AP - And there we see in the stands, John Terry's wife. And with his arm around her, Rio Ferdinand. HD - Well this French team has three strikers. Luckily the other eight have agreed to play. MJ - Tonight's game is in the incredible city of Kiev. The outskirts are sort of crispy-crumbly CA - And Holland are two down. Yes! I've finished the crossword! AP - And the Greeks have reached the quarter finals. If only they'd had a massive bet on that... HD - Oh, that's a bad one, you can see the bone sticking right out. These Ukrainian meat pies really are awful. JC - And now over to Mark Lawrenson who has something really interesting to say. CA - Well, I've never seen that on a pitch before, it seems the referee really is a wanker. HD - No mate, this is row 6. You're row 2012. MJ - (Ukrainian accent) Here in Ukraine, we launch campaign: Kick football out of racism. CD - And that is some incredible dribbling there from the Irish supporters. JC - And things are about to turn ugly as we go back to the studio to Adrian Chiles. AP - And it's Germany against Greece: The ultimate dilemma for the British Royal family. CD - And that is quite simply some wonderful defending there from John Terry's legal team. HD - Well, the Russians and Ukrainians are going to settle this with a shootout. No penalties, just a shootout. AP - So Germany have camped in the Polish half. Not for the first time... CA - And Rooney's trying to get round the keeper, but his keeper's not letting him out of his cage. Things You Wouldn't hear on a Political Discussion Show MJ - Sorry, did I interrupt you? HD - No, no, sir, no, you've had your say. Now shut the fuck up. AP - Round the table tonight, Eric Pickles. And round another table, four other politicians. MJ - (Ulster accent) Sadomasochism is a perversion, but we will clamp down on it! CD - And tonight we'll be discussing Greece. First question, who'd win a fight, Danny Zuko or Kenickie? AP - So, Nick Clegg, which of your two faces would you like to answer that question with? HD - Yes, I agree, Britain's performance in the second quarter has not been all we hoped for, but there's a reason for that. This is a tough job, and I'm shit at it! MJ - We will not let Abu Hamza off the hook! CA - Well, Mr Dimbleby, my question is "If I were a beleaguered European economy, how would you stimulate my growth?" And that goes to contestant number three. JC - Of course I understand that people are worried about schools and hospitals, but what you don't understand is I don't give a shit. CA - Is anyone else horny? CD - And now we’re going to head over and see what the polls are telling us. (Foreign accent) Hello! HD - And now let’s go over to Wales and see what they're saying to us. (Makes whale noises) AP - And so we have a question here for the Prime Minister from Nancy Cameron, aged 8, and it's "When are you going to pick me up, Daddy?" Category:Scenes We'd Like To See